THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 12, 2009:
Plot Synopsis: It's no picnic for the Brown family when a lethal litter of carnivorous aliens arrives unannounced at their Kansas farm. Trapped in a deadly nightmare, the terrified Browns fight for their lives against the attacking bloodthirsty monsters. But it's a losing battle until two intergalactic bounty hunters arrive, determined to blow the hellish creatures off the planet! It's an alien adventure, full of action and just crawling with Critters!
Stephen Herek (Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, Mr. Holland's Opus)
Dee Wallace (E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial, The Frighteners)
M. Emmet Walsh (Blade Runner, Blood Simple)
Terrence Mann (A Chorus Line, Big Top Pee-Wee)
Running Time: 96 minutes.
-Siskel & Ebert gave Critters 2 Thumbs Up.
-Critters is the movie Raphael goes to see in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie (1990) before he meets Casey Jones. That popped into my head when I saw the Critters poster, then I verified it. I'm not a nerd though, I'm totally cool.
Attendees: Brie, Cory, Mike, Roger, Ryan, Stephan.
Movie Rating: 6/10
B-Movie Rating: 6/10 Stars
Standout Character: The Hero's Mom
Helen Brown (played by Dee Wallace).
Loving mother, devoted wife, hysterical nutcase, and most effective 'Critter' fighter in the film. You can keep your alien laser cannons & high-powered fireworks, she doesn't need 'em. With a half-eaten ass-kicked husband & useless daughter in tow, Mom is left in her panicky state to shoot, club, kick and scream the aliens from one end of the house to the other.
Top 8 Lessons Learned From This Film:
8. Farmers won't eat or drink anything without adding honey to it.
7. New York City is an easy drive from most small mid-western towns.
6. The most delicious cut of a farmer is his left shoulder. (Try it!)
5. Alien Bounty Hunters hate organ music.
4. Farmers always have 3 shotguns on hand, but never more than 6 bullets.
3. When tracking small carnivorous aliens, bounty hunters always check Churches & Bowling Alleys first.
2. If you live in a farmhouse you are legally required to cover everything you own with floral print.
1. Cats are immune to gigantic explosions.