This Film Will Make You A Goddamn Sexual Tyranosaurus.

THURSDAY, JULY 16, 2009:

ABRAXAS: GUARDIAN OF THE UNIVERSE (1991)



Plot Synopsis: Abraxas (Jesse "The Body" Ventura) is a cop whose beat spans two galaxies. His mission: To stop planets form destroying themselves through ecological suicide and senseless war. Secundus (Sven Ole Thorsen) is his ex partner who has recently turned renegade and is looking for the anti-life equation...An unlimited source of power that could destroy the universe. Watch as two superpowered beings wage an all out battle that will forever decide the fate of Earth!

Running Time: 90 minutes.

(The trailer posted here was not an official trailer, it's a fan-made one-- there never was an official trailer. Besides the music used, it's not too obnoxious so I'm using it as the clip.)

Film Facts:
- Sven-Ole Thorsen (The film's villain) has had a long career as "huge stong guy," including roles a dozen Schwarzenegger films. His autobiography, "Stærk mand i Hollywood," (Strong Man In Hollywood) was released in 2007 in Denmark, and the first printing sold out entirely in under 24 hours.

- Marilyn Lightstone, the voice of Abraxas' Answer box, also voiced the evil transforming Porsche "Crasher" on the cartoon "Go-Bots." This will be interesting to the 2 people on earth besides me who can remember anything about the cartoon "Go-Bots."

- Watch for a cameo by Jim Belushi as Principal Latimer.